Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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