Heybabeimwearingurpanties
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cut my penus on the lid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
