Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
