The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
