that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
