i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
