Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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