I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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