There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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