i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize