1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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