But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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