I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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