Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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