definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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