you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
