so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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