All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize