He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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