Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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