sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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