I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
