I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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