oh god the rape fog is back!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
