your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
