i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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