You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
