I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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