Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
