It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
