this just has baby written all over it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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