My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
