So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize