I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
