You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
