im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
