Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
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$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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