Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
