I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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