just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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