That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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