Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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