I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
