At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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