I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
