Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I just went to clothing optional bar
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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