the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
