This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
