hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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