Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
