I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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