somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
