capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
