somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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