And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
