I hate your face
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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