All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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