see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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