dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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